


Give a cat a cardboard box, give a knight a round table

by donttouchtheneednoggle



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Era, Gen, Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), Post-Season/Series 04, Sir Leon the Long Suffering, but lance is alive because i'm not a sadist, gen but you know what they're like, he has so many idiot children, if you've never wanted to do this you're lying to yourself, no cats here sorry i just needed an accurate comparison, save him, ship away if you want, they're all idiot children, verging on crack but also not because this definitely happened in canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28009008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donttouchtheneednoggle/pseuds/donttouchtheneednoggle
Summary: 'Elyan doesn’t know why he’s surprised to find Gwaine sprawled out on the new round table with an idiotic grin on his face. In hindsight it seems inevitable.''“Well?”“Well what?”“Are you going to come up?”"What- No! Absolutely not.”'In which the installation of the round table has an unexpected side effect.
Relationships: Elyan & Gwaine & Percival (Merlin), Elyan & Gwen (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen & Leon (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Lancelot & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 114





	Give a cat a cardboard box, give a knight a round table

As with so many things that happen in Camelot, it’s all Gwaine’s fault.

Elyan doesn’t know why he’s surprised to find him sprawled out on the newly installed round table with an idiotic grin on his face. In hindsight it seems inevitable.

“You’ve been drinking haven’t you.”

“It’s our afternoon off!”

“Fuck’s sake Gwaine, it’s 2pm!”

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Are you going to come up?”

"What- No! Absolutely not.”

“Come onnn Ellie it’s _fun_!”

"No! I'm not a _child_ Gwaine! It’s not happening."

..........

Percival is just passing the throne room when he hears a yell of “Percy!” With a sense of some foreboding, he enters.

Elyan and Gwaine lie starfished out on the round table, giggling their heads off. Percival crosses the room and picks up the wineskin lying between them. Predictably it is nearly empty.

“I tried to stop him!” Elyan blurts out, then breaks into another round of giggles which Gwaine joins in.

Percival grins down at them. “Yeah, and you’re so good at that.”

He ponders for a moment. It _does_ look fun.

“All right, _fine_ ,” he says in answer to the inevitable question. He hoists himself onto the table and there is an immediate and ungainly scramble to use his shoulders as pillows. Typical.

..........

“MERLIN!”

The servant was just passing but he comes rushing in with a rather panicked look on his face. However, it splits into a grin when he sees the pile of knights.

“C-“ Gwaine begins but Merlin is already scrambling onto the table.

“This is fun!” he announces happily as he lies down near them. He aims a look of betrayal at Gwaine. “How could you not tell me you were doing this?”

Gwaine looks distraught. “I’m sorry Merlin, I didn’t think!”

“You never do,” Percival says sleepily.

..........

“Hey! Lance!”

Lancelot walks in and looks a little stunned. His eyes alternate apprehensive looks at the door and longing ones at the table.

Merlin grins. “Come on, it’s fun! Don’t even pretend you haven’t thought about doing this!”

“I- all right, fine,” Lancelot says, his resolve swiftly weakening.

..........

“Hey look there’s Gwen!”

“No no don’t call her! You know she’ll blame m-“

“GWEN!”

The queen appears again in the doorway, holding a stack of papers.

“It’s not my fault!” Elyan protests instantly, though the effect is rather ruined by the loud hiccup that follows.

“Hmm.” Gwen raises an eyebrow at her brother, supremely unimpressed.

“Care to join us Your Majesty?” Gwaine asks cheerfully. “It’s a lot of fun!”

“ _Gwaine!_ ” Lancelot hisses in admonishment. “I’m sure Her Majesty has a lot of work to do, unlike us!”

Gwen eyes him thoughtfully, the corner of her mouth tilting up. “I do.” She grins then. “But there’s no reason why I can’t do it here.”

Gwaine engages in wild applause as Gwen climbs gracefully onto the table.

..........

“LEON!” The cheer goes up.

The first knight walks in, frowning and clutching a book of poetry. He looks outraged when he sees them all.

“ _WHAT THE HE_ -“ His furious bellow cuts off with a choked sound when he spots the queen lying there too, serenely reading a council paper.

“Your Majesty!” he gasps.

Gwen looks up. “Hello Leon,” she says nonchalantly, smiling as though there is nothing out of the ordinary.

There is a silence in which Leon tries to find words.

“Are you going to join us?” Gwen prompts. “It really is very fun.”

“No! I ca-“

Gwen raises an eyebrow and Leon realises she’s backed him into a corner. He can’t condemn the queen’s behaviour.

And it _does_ look fun.

“All right fine, but I’m shutting the door. Try and preserve some of our dignity.” He looks round at them all with hopeless exasperation. “Did none of you think of shutting the door?”

“Come on, Leon, you used to build blanket forts with us,” Gwen points out, indicating herself and Elyan, who waves energetically. “Isn’t it a little late for dignity?”

“Says the most dignified person in Camelot,” Leon grumbles as he hauls himself onto the table.

“Hey that’s an idea,” Gwaine says to his companions.

“Hm?”

“Blanket forts!”

“ _No_ , Gwaine,” Leon cuts across him sternly. “Don’t even think-“

“We could use our cloaks!” Percival says enthusiastically.

Leon considers taking a swig out of the wineskin lying on the table. He just wanted to spend the afternoon reading in the garden.

 _One afternoon_.

He looks desperately at Gwen for help, but she is gazing at the ceiling and appears to be cackling to herself.

“And chairs!” Elyan chimes in.

“ _You are not putting chairs on the new table!_ No! Not happening! Absolutely not!”

..........

..........

Arthur checks to see the coast is clear. Finally there seems to be no one else around. Not that it matters if anyone sees him of course. Obviously. He isn’t _sneaking_ anywhere. The idea!

He opens the door to the throne room and freezes.

The first thing he sees is the Pendragon-red tent-like structure that now stands on the far side of the round table, three sets of snores emanating from it.

When the chamber door bangs open the snores pause and Gwaine sticks his head out. He takes one look at Arthur, yells “PRINCESS!” then disappears again. The snores resume immediately.

Merlin lies to the left with his head resting against Lancelot’s stomach, angled away from Arthur. His palm is raised to the ceiling, and he and the knight seem to be staring at an empty spot in the air, Lancelot smiling wonderingly.

When he hears the door Merlin immediately drops his hand and flips over. His face splits into a wicked grin. Lancelot’s smile turns to one of anticipation.

Leon lies to the right, reading a book of poetry and looking exceptionally stressed. His eyes bulge slightly and he doesn’t even look up when Arthur walks in, just begins to read more fervently.

Gwen is on the side closest to the door, elegantly reclined and staring idly at the ceiling, a stack of papers lying discarded beside her.

When he walks in her face lights up in a knowing smile. “Hello Arthur.”

“Guinevere! I- uh-“ He gathers himself and tries again. “I was just- um-“

His wife watches his flailings affectionately. “You had the same idea? Only it seems we’ve all beaten you to it.” She makes a sweeping gesture indicating the four of them – well, seven if you count that ridiculous structure that Arthur now realises is made of knight cloaks and council chairs.

“Absolutely not! I’m the king! I was just coming to- er- inspect the new table! I’m the king!” he repeats defensively.

At which point Merlin joins the offensive. “Of course,” he agrees seriously. “And that’s why you’ve got your favourite book? For official kingly inspection purposes?”

“I-“ Arthur looks down at it and deflates with a sullen glare.

Busted.

Gwen apparently decides to put him out of his misery.

“Come on up.” She pats the space beside her. Arthur casts around for an escape but now Lancelot is watching him too with some amusement.

He clambers onto the table, muttering under his breath.

Gwen laughs merrily and presses a kiss to his cheek. “Give it up,” she advises, and despite himself Arthur feels a grin spread over his face as he stretches out beside her.

It _is_ kind of fun.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for this dumbassery :')  
> Comments and kudos appreciated!
> 
> Come hang out on [tumblr](https://donttouchtheneednoggle.tumblr.com/)!


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